theconcealedweapon:

When someone says that they can’t do something, don’t automatically assume that they’re putting themselves down, being lazy, giving up, refusing to try, etc.

“I can’t do this” could easily mean one of the following:

• I can’t do this, but I can do this other thing instead.
• Doing this doesn’t come naturally, but I can do it if I figure out exactly how to.
• I can do this, but only if I have this tool to help me, and right now I don’t.
• I can sometimes do this, but not always.

Those are not putdowns. Being successful requires knowing when you can’t do something. When it’s normal to not be able to do it, this is seen as an obvious fact.

When you default to “yes you can”, it is you who is putting them down. You’re reminding them that everyone else can easily do it, which implies that there must be something wrong with them if they can’t. You’re telling them that if they can’t do that one thing, then anything that they can do is useless.