john mulaney – Page 3

End of the semester moodboard

Fun things that happened when I saw john mulaney live:

-immeadiately addressed the left side of the audience and told them he wouldn’t he able to turn and look at them during the show because he had slept on his neck wrong and would instead turn to us and bow-which he did multiple times

-told us that the theatre we were at (the orpheum in LA) was most definitely haunted and to please let him know if there was a ghost on stage with him

-a lady in the audience had a sign that said “marry me” and when john saw it he got very flustered and told the woman he didn’t want to and that he was sure she is “a very nice lady but…uh…I just really don’t want to”

-RAN off stage during a bit about street smarts to emphasize the joke. I mean the man SPRINTED

-when he mentioned Petunia everyone started clapping and cheering. John looked visibly annoyed, looked around in disbelief, and when the applause finally died down he shook his head and then very dejectedly whispered “every time” into the mic

bobertlutece:

this whole thing is way too good to be giffed you need to expirience it

john-mulaney:

endless gifs of john mulaney ★ [12/?]

sonseulsoleil:

I’m glad to know that John Mulaney was an English major because it means when he says “college is just ‘I think Emily Dickinson is a lesbian!’ and they’re like ‘partial credit!’” he says it with authority.

thefinalfucktier:

has this been done yet?

mulaneysbutt:

AHHHHHHHHH

cactusphil:

gendernihilistanarchocommunist:

statz-876:

fonzworthcutlass:

I hope all of yall find $20 on the ground tomorrow.

And I mean that.

$50 maybe

a dropped money clip from some clumsy, unobservant capitalist shithead with in excess of $5000 in it

a thrown silver money clip with $50 in it and an empty aladdin wallet

quicksilver-ace:

kleinsens:

maybe you MILLENIALS would be able to afford a house if you stopped spending your money at your local diner’s jukebox buying twenty one (21) plays of what’s new pussycat with one (1) play of it’s not unusual in the middle

Does everyone just inexplicably know this

s-notgirl:

God, listening to John Mulaney talk about doing hard fucking drugs in his youth is like hearing a nun reminisce on her last orgy before she converted. What do you mean you didn’t come out of the womb with a fatherly demeanor and crippling anxiety?