Here’s to the people who need constant reassurance that they’re loved, yet never get it. This is for the people who thrive off of attention from the people they care about the most, but are often left hanging. To those who aren’t getting their needs met, I’m sorry. Know that you exist and you matter whether or not someone else is around to validate you.
1. Hold your head high, and look others in the eye
2. Smile
3. Stop apologizing
4. Relax and be quick to laugh at yourself (but not at others!)
5. Dress in a way that indicates you have self worth
6. Use good manners (like saying please and thank you) as this is actually a mark of self respect
7. Expect other people to believe in you, and to see and appreciate your good qualities.
8. Before you know it, its no longer fake
wheRE WAS THIS ALL MY LIFE
As someone who did this, I can guarantee you it legit works
This, my darlings. All of it. Because step 8 is true: it will no longer be fake, you will have taught yourself to have confidence.
Like Carrie said: Stay afraid, but do it anyways.
If you keep your hands clasped behind your back it makes you appear broader and invokes a pressence of confidence/seniority/hey-listen-to-me/importantance. Demands attention, essentially.
Clasping your hands in front of you though is a more submissive stance. Doing this while someone is talking and leaning forward slightly gives the appearance that you’re interested in what they’re saying.
I once had to give an impromtu speech in front of a tong of deans and did the first when I was talking and the second when my partner was talking. Went over really well. Got compliments days afterwards from them because of how I presented myself (they didn’t know what I was doing, or at least doing it intentionally).
Don’t stare too long directly into someone’s eyes, it makes them uncomfortable. Instead, move along the different features of their face from time to time, like their eyebrows to their nose to their left eye then right eye.
Practice in a mirror smiling with your eyes. Makes your smiles appear less fake more genuine, even if they are fake.
Ask people how they are, questions about themselves. People like talking about themselves. Makes you seem interested in them. They like that, then in turn like you.
This works, kiddos. I used to have self-esteem issues until a few years ago when I started faking confidence. Now I’m borderline egotistical.
Correct your body language and speeh habits. It does wonders.
to anyone enduring a depressive episode: it’s ok. you’re not being lazy or selfish. your productivity doesn’t define or devalue you. you’re coping. you’re doing the best you can, and that’s ok!
I wanna be cute. How does one become cute? Because I am a potato. A glasses wearing potato with boring hair and a double chin. Not cute.
First of all, potatoes are adorable. Please observe:
Second of all, cute isn’t a look, it’s a behavior. When you giggle because a joke caught you off guard, you’re cute. When you yawn and you stretch and you’re nodding off while curled up in blankets with mussed up hair and your glasses slipping down your nose, you’re cute. When you blush because someone complimented you, you’re cute. When you smile at the person you love, you’re freaking adorable. (I have seen it. I know.)
Cute is not your size, or your haircut, or your clothes. Cute is your soul bursting out of you at the seams because you’re unabashedly, unapologetically, unselfconsciously you.
no offence but let yourself be ugly!! you don’t have to fix your hair if you’re not going anywhere you don’t have to cover up ur spots or change out of your lounge pants to go buy milk like damn we really gotta let ourselves be comfortable without constantly apologising for just looking normal and it’s hard but i think we need to practice looking in the mirror and saying i look ugly af today and that’s okay!! tru self care is letting urself be ugly tbh
I love this version of self-love because it’s much more feasible for people who are self-conscious. Like it takes years of powerful reconditioning to convince yourself that your flaws, like stretch marks or acne or cellulitis, are attractive. It’s basically impossible for most people.
But learning to say “so what, I’m ugly, there’s more to life” not only overwrites this narrative that we have to feel attractive in some way (which is bs) but also reroutes your actual attention to just, living, instead of examining, evaluating, and judging your appearance
Been working on this a lot lately, especially now that it’s summer and I’m trying to be more comfortable with the acne on my shoulders 🙂
Gay Ryan 